All or Nothing

Like most of my posts, I have no clue where this one is going to go.

I took a break from writing for the last two weeks to focus on friends and family for the Holidays.

When I first picked up my pen I thought this post was going to be about why you should treat every day like it’s your birthday.

And while that’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, that’s not something I’m super passionate about at this very moment.

Last weekend Austin and I went to the movies and saw “The Greatest Showman.”

Full disclosure here: I had zero clue what this movie was about, but I just knew that Zac Efron was in it so I HAD to see it and I’m so happy I did.

I haven’t seen a movie, or heard a song, or read anything that has just really inspired me lately like this movie did.

And I know it sounds silly that a movie made such an impact on me, but isn’t that kind of the way life should be?

Shouldn’t we be surrounding ourselves with people and things that inspire us?

Shouldn’t we be doing the things that create a stirring in our souls?

I don’t know about you, but I want to be moved and I want to move others.

And because of this, I’ve come to a realization that 2017 was the best year of my life, but it was also the hardest.

I overcame a lot of insecurities.

I stopped caring so much about what other people thought of me and I started caring about what I thought about me.

I silenced the lies in my head.

I put Jesus back where he belonged in my life as my first love instead of on the back burner.

I’ve had to fight really hard for who I am today, but I’ve only just begun.

And with so much growth going on in my life, I’ve also had to accept some harsh realities.

I put way too much pressure on myself.

If your 18 or 118, you don’t have to have it all figured out.

*Slams on breaks* yes, you read that right.

I’m a twenty-something-year-old who gets so caught up in the fact that life isn’t going the way I thought it would go daydreaming as a child.

You seriously mean to tell me that I don’t already have my own unicorn sanctuary and Justin Bieber isn’t writing songs about me and I don’t drive a sports car like Barbie?!

What kind of sick joke is this??????

We’re told that you have to do these certain jobs and be married by this certain age and do these certain things in order to have a “good” life and the list is endless.

And when I haven’t already “figured” out life I feel like I’m failing or that I’m falling behind.

I have all these dreams and goals in my heart and head, but I don’t know how to connect the dots and see the big picture.

And you see it’s not that I’m actually falling behind, it’s that I’m too busy focusing on the pressures that I’m putting on myself.

So if you’re sitting here reading this and you feel like “me too”, listen to me carefully.

You are not supposed to have life figured out.

If you had everything figured out and tied up nicely with a little bow on top that would LITERALLY take all the excitement out of life.

And you’re not failing at life, but you are failing your self by thinking that way.

If you’re reading this and you’re thinking you’re “too old” to chase that dream or the things you were made to do, it’s never too late.

It’s never too late to start again.

All you need is the courage to be willing to try.

And while we’re talking about courage, I’ve realized a lot of my life has been spent doing things out of obligation instead of passion or love.

And that to me doesn’t sound like much of a life at all.

I don’t want to continue doing things unless I’m pouring my heart and soul into something.

When I write, I try to only write about things that I really believe in or whatever I’m going through or discovering about life.

I know I’m still finding my voice as a writer, but sometimes I get so focused on making sure I’m posting consistently and giving my posts a certain structure that I forget the whole reason I’m doing this in the first place.

There will be some big changes in not only my own life in 2018 but in this blog as well because that’s what courage is all about.

I have to make these changes because it’s necessary for growth.

From this moment on, I’m doing everything wholeheartedly or not at all because what’s a life worth living if I didn’t give it my everything?

6 thoughts on “All or Nothing

  1. Whilst I am no longer a twenty-something-year-old, you are correct in that I still haven’t got life figured out. And here’s another nugget of doinkery: God has a sense of humor! That is correct, just when you think you have life figured out, LIFE steps in and teaches us that we should, perhap, take an alternate thought path.

    Rule of thumb: (Learned the Hard Way) “Those who do not inspire, drain.”

    We also must pose the following query to our own goop: “If I wish to be inspired by others, am I inspiring to others?” In so contemplating this ponderance, we seek to inspire others to carry forth the torch of inspiration and set the soul ablaze!

    Thank you for your most inspiring words.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Girl! My exact thoughts lately. Life takes time. I’m still getting over the fact that life isn’t my daydreams from childhood either. We need more creative voices like yours. So happy to have a new friend that thinks in such inspiring ways. This is Megan from Well Dressed Mess, we met on insta. I’m super glad I found your blog!

    xx Megan 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey girl hey!!! Thank you SO much! I checked out your blog on Tuesday and subscribed because I LOVED your whole page! Especially your post about why you gave up drinking. You’re such an inspiration 😸 please don’t stop sharing your words!


  3. It’s always humbling when you take that moment to realize you don’t have it all figured out. But that’s where the real growth happens. The most important thing is that moment of self-reflection, but it’s also the hardest. Thanks for this insightful post.

    Liked by 1 person

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